Summary: This Week in News You Missed

An ongoing series in which we guess at the published stories which may have been attached to a randomly selected news photo from the previous week. This week’s summarized edition features only headlines.

 

Iraqi Defensive Forces Step-Up As We Duck

 

Horrible Bitch Tells the Worst Stories Imaginable

 

Desperate Timberwolves Plan to Bio-engineer Hakeem Olajuwon/Pee Wee Herman Hybrid Clone for 2009 Season

 

Gaza Real Estate Market Hit Hard by Recession, Cluster Bombs

 

Las Vegas Man Arrested for Apparent Enjoyment of Steve Zahn Movie, “Strange Wilderness”

 

Minnesota Voters Give the Finger to “Fill in the Oval” Directive

 

Maury Announces “You are the Father” to Stunned Vacationing Sea-Whore(se)

 

Dow Chemical Forced to Layoff Thousands After Innovative “Feel Free to Sleep At Work” Initiative Fails to Boost Revenue

 

Matthew McConaughey Not Fooling Anyone

~ by yummypants on December 31, 2008.